Good times a comin

It's so close I can almost taste it! I can't wait for this weekend... a full weekend of Jay. I couldn't ask for more. I guess everyone knows what who I'm thankful for! Thanksgiving, I sooo excited... Just need to clean a ferret cage! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Quote of the Day:"If you call one wolf, you invite the pack."
Bulgarian Proverb

My tire burst but not my Day

Today... boy what a Monday it has been.
First it was a late night last night and what little sleep I got was spotted with me waking up.... ha ha. Jay and I skipped the shower today and just slept in.... much needed, trust me...
Then I went to class... got home and tried to write an essay.
Then Colton came over... which is always fun. We went over to Slcc to get him some forms he needed to apply for school. After that we were going to go to lunch with Jay. Well, on the way over my front tire burst.... good thing there was a Colton there (THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MY FRIEND!) One) He kept me calm, I didn't freak out and make the situation worse! Two) There was no way I was getting that tire off by myself, thank God for making man well, manly ;) Three) I had someone to stand with when my grandparents went to go fill my donut with air.
So, basically, having Colton around made my day tons better. I don't even feel bad right now... I'm a little worried about finding a new tire... but it'll all work out, hopefully. I'm still feeling pretty good. Got lots of homework to do... I'm hoping tonight goes well, and hoping Jay and I can get our homework done and not have any problems... only 9 problems though, we can do it!
Love you all,
Quote of the Day:"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions
in favour of vegetarianism, while the
wolf remains of a different opinion."

Wolf-form

Just letting you all know, that if I could choose my form, this would be me in wolf-form...

A Lazy week for Brooke-0

I just haven't felt like doing anything this week, so far.... except for Monday. I got quite a bit done on Monday actually. But right now... I just want to read my book... I'll probably finish it today if I read as much as I did yesterday. Which is fine by me! I think we all have these weeks, okay I hope we all do, or I'm gonna feel like crap... ;)
I think it's because it's the end of the semester... and it's the last semester full of General classes for me... after this, the real deal starts, up at Weber... I'm slightly excited.
MOSTLY I'M EXCITED FOR TURKEY DAY!!!!! I love family get-togethers... and I get to get together with 2 families this year! I went to Jay's Parent's last year, but now i get to do it as actual married in family.... I don't know how it's any different, but it is. It'll be a full day of eating!!!! BUT, it'll be a relax day... a day without CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!! (maybe a little homework...) Mostly, it'll just be cuddle time. I loves cuddle-time....C'mon, I know you're all excited.
Finals.... wow, It's amazing how I don't even care this semester... I figure that except in Chemistry my final grade won't really be too badly effected by the final.... YAY Brooke! I like my brain... it's just so school oriented... it's like, I know how exactly what a teacher wants and that's what I put... I think I get it from Carrie
Quote of the Day:" A mountain with a wolf on it stands a little taller." Edward Hoagland

Why is it so hard?

Life... what a thing, ups, downs, turns, in betweens..... and then there are those times when all life consists of is crawling under that barbed wire... trying to get to that ending where you can stand tall and stretch. Just another couple of weeks!!! Things have just gotten so hectic... I've decided that I AM NOT getting a full-time job (or even a demanding part-timer) Watching Jay struggle and get sooo stressed has definitely proved to me how stupid it is to divide your time like that. Jay you're my hero for trying... I know it's hard baby... just gotta stay relaxed, calm, and keep trying as hard as you have been!
For everyone else, please understand how very stressed the two of us are... I know, not a very good reason.... but it's all I got... Life is hard, as I'm sure all of you know. We all just deal with it different ways.... we're working on it, promise....
I can't wait till the end of the semester. We'll finally be able to chill a bit... it'll be wonderful!

I'm fine....

Judging by some of your comments, I think you all think I'm not doing very well... Not to worry folks, I'm fine! I'm really a happy person, my mind has just been geared towards focusing on the negative lately.... esp. in my blog for some reason... nothing has really changed lately, so I try to find something to write, and what comes to mind are the bad things. For some reason that's just me right now... I'm easily offended and hurt and that's what I focus on. SO!!!! I've made a goal, partly thanks to your facebook comments and partly because of something, rather silly, that Steven said last night.
A guy had a heart attack (or so the rumor goes) last night at the theatre. Before we knew that our fellow usher, and manager, Randy came escorted him out and told us to get him a diet coke... so we did. When Steven told me he had had a heart attack I was a little loopy (I had just been hyper about an hour before and was losing energy) and replied, well... at least we gave him a diet coke to make him feel better. Steven gave me a funny look and said, "way to be positive Brooke, good job." And I thought, I do need to be positive... MORE! I've been a total mope lately... That's no fun, for anyone... SO I WILL WRITE ONE GOOD THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME EVERY TIME I POST SOMETHING. Even if I'm upset... if I don't, you all must remind me and I will revise my post....
I promise to you all that I'm really happy. Just stressed out, school will do that to you...
I'm trying to be more positive and show my happiness more, even when Jay's not around. I think I need more exercise, and I've heard that exercise makes you happier. I need more walks... it's just getting time to do that... I hate taking walks alone....
The website that I'm supposed to doing my homework on is down! YAY!!! Time to procrastinate! ( and I was really gonna try to get it done without distracti0ons this time) So... anyone want to go to Chemistry for me tonight? That class is starting to stress me out horribly (which is part of my problem). It's the teacher's second semester, so we're guinea pigs. Which stinks because he just rearranged how we're going to do homework and tests for the rest of the semester. Now, instead of assignments that we have like 2 weeks to do.. (Still hard because there are TONS of questions and like 5 questions to each numbered question!) We now have to make up 5 questions per lecture and manage to do about 16 problems per lecture. The 5 questions are do the week after the lecture... the others aren't due till after thanksgiving... so far, Jay and I have only been able to do one set of the 5 questions... it's insanity!!! Think of how much we're going to have built up by the time Thanksgiving rolls along... SIGH!!! Oh well, We'll live through it... I'm sure the guy realizes that he can't be to hard in grading his guinea pigs
:D
Love ya'll
Quote of the day:“Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.” Saul Bellows

Thoughts of Wednesday

Tuesday, the bane of my and Jay's week, is over. Hurray! Also, more good news... no more chemistry labs, which makes the rest of the upcoming Tuesdays not so bad. Ah... it'll be wonderful to at least get a little more time together.
I'm finally a little more emotionally stable after a hard couple of weeks... Jay and I got along fine last night during class. (okay I was sick and a little pissy last night, but Jay handled it excellently in my opinion) After class we took a bubble bath which made me feel tons better. I slept like a baby, waking up only once very thirsty... thank goodness there was a Mountain Dew on the shelves next to the bed.
Today I'm feeling much better. My throat still hurts and my head still hurts, but everything else feels fine, and I'm a bit numb to the other problems. So, it's time to buckle down and get some homework done. Chemistry.. I'm gonna print off a few things that'll help my love and probably me... but I'll wait till he gets home (and we're at Hale) to actually work on it... We work better together. It's due tomorrow... so if it doesn't get done at Hale, it'll have to be done tonight... ugh.
So... for now it's the endless chapters of Music stuff. Not too bad, I like music... but learning how they make such wonderful sounds almost ruins it... so I don't pay very good attention to what I read... I just kinda rad it paragraph by paragraph, playing games between each part. I know, it's bad... but one) I work better when distracted and two) I really don't care about this class.... sad... I know... but it's a general ed class. I want to get to my biology!
Well, I'm in a good mood, feelin a bit lonely, waitin till 5:30ish... Gabby my only source of company (the grandparents are out) but she's just sitting under my feet, making sure I don't leave her again. (Poor dog needs to realize that I'm not going to leave her forever)
More to come I'm sure....
Quote of the day:" The modern Little Red Riding Hood, reared on singing commercials, has no objection to being eaten by the wolf."

And the time flows like a glacier...

Glaciers like to move slowly... wow what a thought... Sometimes they slip and slide... not a whole lot...most of the time they stay really slow...
I'm bored, I'm tired... and I just want Jay.. (I know... such a different feeling for me) The first part of the day time slid on past, I was busy and happy... now, as the last leg of the day has come.. time seems to have stopped... click click click.. I feel like I'm actually counting the seconds between the clicks on the clock!!! I swear a second has become five. Half an hour left... Ugh... really an hour cause he actually has to make it home...
Well, tonight will be long anyway, I'm sure. They only thing we have left to do on Mondays at Hale is Audience Watch... so I et to be separated all night long. Somehow we have to fit in doing our chemistry lab homework (oh and the actual class homework... HA!) Just not very exciting. I wish Tuesday would stop slipping it's misery into a perfectly okay Monday. As far as Mondays go, today hasn't been too bad.
I'm writing to make the time go by... it's NOT WORKING!!! Silly Mondays... imagine how many other people are looking the clock counting the seconds between the seconds right now... Mondays shouldn't exist. We should never have to have the day after the weekend... but sadly... I don't think that'll happen. Even if we called it Funexcitingnotmondayday it'd still be the day after the weekend. Sigh... weekends spoil me!!!!
Quote of the Day:“We have the wolf by the ears, and we can neither hold him, nor safely let him go. Justice is in one scale, and self-preservation in the other.” Thomas Jefferson

Where have the good times gone?

Nothing seems the same lately. Things have become so regular, so daily, so all the time, that I'm having the hardest time seeing the pleasure in it anymore. Blah! Last night... oh last night... Jay and I had a night that brought me back to the time (however short that was) when we were dating. We took a walk, to the park... watched some movies (and, like when we were dating I fell asleep) well, he woke me up and we... yeah... It was like it was when we were dating... soooo lovely.... SO LOVING!!! why can't things be like that anymore?! It's not like we don't do those things anymore... we take walks all the time, we watch movies and I fall asleep and we yeah. What happened yesterday that made it so special? I miss the newness of everything I guess. Yet, I hate new things.. hate learning the hard way. I love Jay so much, both of us have been so pissy lately (Yes, my time of the month has come... and is back with a vengence after 2 and a half months abscense) I wish I could control my temper... my hormones are all out of whack, and I suppose they will be until we decide that it's safe to take the chance of having a little friend join our party. I just wish that Jay would understand and not get upset with me when I'm having a hard time... He does get upset cause I mope around, or get set off by anything... but I don't mean anything by it... it's just part of my cycle... I have my ournery days... like any woman... but he doesn't really get it. He gets angry... and then we have problems... and then all parties are upset and then we have to make up, which can be harry or not too bad... I'm sorry I'm ranting about Jay... I only get frustrated because I love him so much, or I wouldn't care... I'd just deal with it.
I'm sorry honey if at my time I become a royal pain in the butt. I REALLY DO TRY TO CONTROL IT!! I hate it when y ou get upset... I hate it when I get upset... I miss the time when we were too scared to upset each other for fear of it hurting our new relationship... :D But... there will be good times and bad times. I am still afraid of upsetting you... just because I want to make you proud, and I don't want to argue.... We really need a system... we need to work one out...
Also, can anyone, besides Jay, (he tries, but doesn't like science or believe it really :D) tell me how to reconcile my religious beliefs and my belief and love of the Theory of Evolution. I can't not believe in evolution... I'm a scientist to the heart, and it just makes so much satifactory sense! But how can I not believe in a God who came up and manages this science... the world is just too wonderful and complex to not have a higher power in control!
Jay, you're my bestest friend in the whole world, and my love! Please don't get mad at my rant that I can't really say to your face because I just need a time for you to listen, or read, and not say a word.... now it's your turn... rant about me... please... tell me what to change... try not to get mean, like I tried extremely hard not to do.... and letvme know your feelings!!!!

Evauluation of a teenage mind

She had just had a moment. The tears still coming, she thought about why it had been so bad. She had cast the blame elsewhere during the moment. But it hadn't been the other party's fault, not really. They had just reacted.
No, a large part of the blame was hers to eat, and she knew it. She sighed and let a couple more tears slip out.
Why had she acted like that? How can she expect others to act civilly if she can't muster up the courage to drop it and be nice.
Obviously she wasn't a grown up yet. She doesn't even pretend to be, really. She knows how very dependent she is.... but if she depends on something so much, how could she act like that? The teenage spirit must be still alive and well.
She hates learning things the hard way. It hurts more than a bunch of things, usually.
Then she made a decision, never again... there's no point in acting that way, it didn't get her what she wanted, and it never has. It's time to grow up and behave. She makes a promise to herself... do what you suggested you crazy little girl, count to ten, relax, think about the consequences of your behavior.
I love you Jay
Quote of the Day:"Only the Mountain has Lived long enough to listen objectively to the howl of the wolf."
The quote does tie in

Big down... bigger up

Wow... if anyone saw me yesterday, and what a wreck I happened to be... I PROMISE life is not always like that for me! Yesterday was just one unfortunate incident piled on top of each other one after the other! Holy COW! Luckily for me... I have a wonderful husband who came home early to comfort me after a horrible day. I appreciate that so much. BUT! Today is so much better. I'm feeling optimistic and happy.
So, at about 4:30 this morning I could here rain... I love that sound, it's wonderful (By the way, did anyone else see the lightening last night!?) You may be wondering why I was up at 430 in the morning, well...I think the long day had caught up with me... I digress.
When I went upstairs and looked out the window there was... as if you don't know this already....SNOW! I was really hoping the snow would hold off until fall was done being so pretty. But now that we're here we have to enjoy how very beautiful the snow is. Look at the sun through a snow covered tree. A very impressive sight.
Other updates on Brooke
-My car is working!!!
-My laptop has been repaired and is being shipped!
-I caught Gabby choking on a bone yesterday, she's not dead!
-Brooke and Jay are doing wonderful still
-please if anyone needs help with anything let me know.
I love all of you! SO so so so much!
Quote of the day: "You ought to follow the example of the shunk-tokecha (wolf). Even when he is surprised and runs for his life, he will pause to take one more look at you before he enters his final retreat. So you must take a second look at everything you see."
Ohiyesa

Winter is coming...

Happy November everyone!!
So... today a mood of total apathy has taken hold. I'm extremely tired, and I really don't want to start another week. And, the worst part... there's nothing to be excited about. It's too far away to get all excited about Thanksgiving and the days are there just to repeat themselves. So, I'll be excited for the one thing that I will make my day everyday... 530 when jay comes home, or to class, whichever it is.. Eventually the holiday season will come.... there's only about 25 more days until we're stuck with Christmas music in every store and I'm positive the snow is on it's way.... Just got to get through some boring days to hit the fun ones... I was just spoiled by October..
Anyway... everyone be happy!!!!
Quote of the Day: "The wolf's clear, intelligent eyes brushed mine. The wolf is gentle-hearted. Not noble, not cowardly, just nonfighting."
~ Lois Crisler, 1958