It's Summer Time

Well, here it is, it's summer time. I should be able to write once a week. Key word: should.
This has so far been a really busy, and quite stressful, summer vacation. I mean, look, it's June 27th and this is the first time I've posted in the old blog. I am going to try and make a commitment for once a week, but, it probably won't happen.
It looks like when I left you I was feeling pretty down in the dumps about money. Well, our money stresses haven't really changed all that much, but, I am a lot happier. Let me tell you why. Yes, this is going to be a positive post, this is what I keep telling myself.

 Baby

Well, most of you know already, but if you haven't heard, I am pregnant again. I'm 24 weeks (At least this is what the doctor said yesterday, to be perfectly honest I've been so busy these past couple of weeks that I have lost track myself. It sounds crazy that I would forget such an important thing, but I totally have.). It's another boy and I am so very much okay with that. I love little boys and I'm not sure if I'd know what to do with a little girl.

The little guy is due October 14th, and you know, I haven't even given three thoughts to preparing for his arrival. I probably will near the end of the summer, but I am so tired about stressing about things, and I really don't want to stress anymore. I'm just too tired and I want to enjoy being pregnant as much as humanly possible. So, if you want to know how you can help me out, here is the first time I've made a list of things I think I'll need. At least it's a boy, so I can reuse Charlie's clothes and toys.

1. I need a new diaper bag. My current one is disgusting and I wouldn't dream of putting a bottle anywhere near that thing.

2. Our changing table needs a new mattress pad or cover. Charlie has ripped the current one to shreds.

3. Diapers, duh.

4. A new crib mattress or a mattress for a toddler bed. Currently the crib mattress is in Charlie's car bed. It mostly fits.

5. Breast milk storage bags (I went through untold numbers of these with Charlie). Oh, the sanitizing wipes are incredibly useful, too. You can find them in the same area.

6. A list of the very basic things I need to have out of storage and ready for when baby comes home. I can't even think straight enough to get this into my mind.

Really, we don't need all that much. We just need to find what we already have. I need to get Jay down to find all of our baby stuff.

So, I guess, even though I am trying to be positive, I should say that this has been the main cause of my money worries. I found out we were pregnant just before we found out about the tax problem (see last post). So, I'm a bit panicked. Mostly because I am not sure what were going to have to pay. I've called insurance companies, I've talked to the doctor. They try really hard to make sense, but they don't. They spit out all kinds of numbers, but they can't just give me one solid number that I'm going to have to pay. And, hey, we have no savings right now. Things keep coming at us from out of no where. So, yeah, I'm a little scared. Yes, I know part of our problem is our spending on things we don't necessarily need, but part of it stems from us actually needing something, but then wanting to put some good money into it so we know it will last and we get what we want in the first place instead of needing to spend more down the line. Example: Refrigerator, we bought an expensive one when it broke. Camera, Jay just bought me a super nice camera. I've been talking about getting one and my last camera just went useless on me, so he got a nice one. Now, I have it and can stop wasting money on cameras that give me sort of what I want for half of the price Jay paid for this new one. I know what you're thinking, judge me if you want. Why, if she is worried about money would she let her husband buy that kind of camera? Well, hey, you know? It's been quite a long time since Brooke has let Jay spend some money on her and after the year we've been having, I needed some money spent on me. Got it?! Sounds pitiful, right? Well I don't care. I stick my tongue out at you. :P

Wow, sorry. Long money rant. Back to positive. So, if anyone has any kind of good estimate of total dollars this baby will cost, I'd like to hear it. We are insured. My deductible is $750 and our maximum out of pocket is $1500. But there's that for me and then there's that for the baby as well. And I know it sounds like it should be easy to figure out form there. But, my mind is not letting me make that leap, it just won't. I've fretted over it for many hours now...

Anyway, baby. He has no name yet. It's Jay's turn to name the baby, but you know Jay. He's not good with decisions. So, we'll see. It doesn't help that I have vetoed a few of them that I wouldn't be able to stand. Other than that, things look mostly good. Baby is healthy. He kicks awfully hard, though.

Carrie

I am SOOOO excited because my Aunt Carrie is coming to live with us for a while. She moved to Colorado a few years ago, and to be frank, that just sucked. I love Carrie. We hang out a lot and we connect really well. She's my Hastings and her daughter is my Bob (Poirot reference, watch and read Poirot). 

Well, she's moving back to Salt Lake and this house is going to be a lot less empty very very soon. I am soooo excited. Even though there will be a teenager in the house ;). 

Missing Brandy

Well, it happened. My best friend and twin sister, Brandy, moved away. To California. Way too far away. I guess her husband, left, too. ;) It's been tough not having her to go to for a hug in these stressful months. Jay and I have been worried about them, almost constantly, but they seem to be making it on there own. I'm proud of them, but I miss my sister immeasurably. The house has just been incredibly lonely. I know can always call Brandy, but our schedules haven't been coinciding very well, at all. It's been a little tough. Though my goal is to call at least once a week. It'll get better.

Charlie

My little boy is growing up very fast. He seems pretty intelligent to me, though I might just be biased. He's getting very good at letting me know what he wants and his vocabulary has just gone nuts. He's got most of his colors down, he counted to 18 today, and he's working on his ABCs. He skips a lot of letters right now. I think we'll have to add singing the ABCs together as part of the nightly routine or something to try and help him out with it. He's so cute. Stubborn as all get out. He WILL NOT learn something if he does not want to. Which, is why he is not potty trained. Sigh.

I love him so much. Charlie is getting quite the personality. Sweet yet independent. He loves to help me with chores, but there's not much he can do without making a bigger mess. We'll work on it. 

Still blonde, still has blue eyes, and still the cutest kid in the state. You probably will never change my mind.

School

School ended. It seemed to drag near the end, but we made it. It was a good 2nd year. I'll miss a lot of those kids.

I got a nice long list of things I have to do this summer for school, but I don't plan on working too long. I have meetings and conferences and much planning to do to prepare for next year, though.

Next year is going to be insane. Aside from having a newborn in October, I will be teaching AP Biology next year, and I get to put together the entire curriculum map and lesson plans myself. Nobody in my school has taught it since the course was changed. I did hear some comforting news, though. Apparently, the biology test is the hardest AP test to pass. Joy. No, I really am excited. I'd like to get started on some lesson planning, but I think I will wait until I go to the conference in July. That will help me get a good start. I did receive some materials from a teacher at Skyline High School. It seemed like that would be fairly helpful. It's just a little stressful, thinking about all the things I have to do to get this course ready. I can't wait for more motivated students!

I also am going to be the PLC leader next year. So, I get to go to some training for that this summer as well. It seems like it should be rather straight forward, but with my department, nothing is easy. I also get to be in charge of all of the data collection for my department. To be perfectly honest, that's the part about being the PLC leader that scares me the most. It's going to take away one whole prep period, and you know. Grading AP biology, trying plan an AP biology curriculum, AND do all of my regular other biology class stuff in one prep period is a little daunting. Remember, newborn at home.

So, I'm hoping to not have to do too much at home this year, but I'm planning on it. Hoping to have a lot of help from Jay and even Carrie with Charlie. Newborns are easy (ha ha ha ha ha ha, I know), it's my poor, sweet little Charlie that I worry about.

Summer

So, like I said, it's going to be a busy summer. I am trying to focus on Charlie this summer, though. He needs me. Soon, he'll have to learn to share me.

We bought him a little swimming pool this week. He seems to really like it, even though it's cold. I'm still trying to decide about swimming lessons. I'd have to swim with him, but my schedule might not allow me to go to every lesson.

Other than that, I'm just trying to make sure we aren't watching TV all data every day. We've been to the park, to the store, and we've played in the pool. I'm already running out of cheap ideas. ;)

Yellowstone

Yellowstone, the vacation I have been looking forward to for 6 months. It was so beautiful. We had never been in June before last week. Boy, did we learn that June has a set of challenges in Yellowstone.

1st thing, my camera started to bug out on my just before Yellowstone. The black spot of doom had come back. I was aware of that from the start and I was just planning on editing it out, because I can do that. But, when we got to Yellowstone, I discovered that it was much worse than that. My camera was having focusing issues. I could only zoom to a certain point when the camera would refuse to focus. Ugh. Also, my pictures are all fairly low quality because high quality pictures take up too much space on my sd card. I took some great pictures, beautiful. But, you can hardly tell.

Hey, did you know how freezing Yellowstone is in June? I do now. We lived by the fire. We were rained on and snowed on. It was beautiful, if a little trying at times. Most of the time we were there, we were wet. Still, it was a great, new experience.

Jeep broke down. Grrr. Big towing bill that will "hopefully" be reimbursed. The battery died! And if we had tried to fix it, out warranty might have been voided, so, big towing bill. Plus, we didn't actually figure out that it was the battery... even with all of the experienced mechanics we had with us! Luckily the battery was covered under the warranty. :D

Like I said, I loved Yellowstone in June, though. There were so many baby animals and we saw over 19 bears. It was great! And, the views. Trust me, stormy skies over the Yellowstone landscape are UNBEATABLE. So, so pretty. I already want to go back to Yellowstone. Please? Someone take me?

New Toy

I told you my camera died. Well, Jay kinda took matters into his own hands and bought me a nice new camera yesterday. I nice, expensive camera. So, expect some awesome pictures coming, once I figure out how to use it. :D
Oh, here's some Yellowstone pics with my dying camera.

Starting 2014 and February Blues

Okay, I have to apologize, I haven't even thought about my blog since mid-January when I wrote half of this post... and I left the computer and got busy. I did discover that after I left the computer Charlie had posted this for me. So, you will probably read some stuff I've already written, but I promise I am writing new stuff in this post too.

I don't know how Brandy writes every week. I just plain don't have that much to say.

Life   

      Like I said. I don't have much to say. Life  has been busy, so there hash't been much time for living. Isn't it strange how that works?

     Jay and I have both been fairly happy. Jay has class four times a week, and that's been tough for both of us. He's really busy and when I get the chance to be home it almost feels like being a single mother. Now, I know that it's nowhere near that hard being lonely for 3 hours a night, but I do get lonely. Charlie can be a challenge when no one else is around. He seems to behave for everyone but me. :D

     Jay's been really good at getting his homework done this semester, so far. I am really proud of him. He's working hard, trying not to procrastinate. Yay Jay!

My parents just had their 25th year anniversary. Dad did something super sweet. He rented a limo! The best part? WE WERE INVITED! Yeah first limo ride ever! AND IT WAS STINKIN AWESOME. Then we went to a hibachi grill place in Ogden that I've always wanted to try. It's called Kobe grill. It was a beautiful place to eat. It had a little river, and fish and it was so much fun. Dad and Mom were so happy. I let my stomach get too full, and I didn't feel good after that, but it was fun.

We did run into a little bit of trouble. We discovered, after doing our taxes, that I have been paying practically no taxes all year long. I must have suddenly lost my brain while I was filling out my W-4, because even I am not stupid enough to claim 5 exemptions on my W-4. But, somehow that's what was put into the system. AND.... we're in trouble money-wise. Somehow Jay and I have to make up $2200. I cannot tell you how anxious this has made both of us. We now are in spending-freeze mode and we're trying not to buy anything unneeded. Also, we turned off the unlimited data on our phones. That actually hasn't been all that awful. But, I think I'm gunna want it back when all of this is over.

Well, Jay and I have had to pick up some extra shifts at work. I'm working like a crazy person at Hale, since my other job doesn't offer much in the way of overtime. Jay has picked up a couple days overtime at his job on Saturday mornings. It's been a strain, and we're both exhausted. And I miss my little Charlie boy.

To be perfectly honest, I've been pretty depressed since all of this tax and money stuff has started coming up. It just feels like no matter hard we try, something is trying to trip us up. And I know it's my fault, I should have been checking my paystubs, but I guess it's all a part of learning to be an adult. Speaking of checking my paystubs, I'm going to go do that right now.
And done. Looks good.
But yeah, I've been in a slump. It's been hard to pick myself up. As a result, there has been very little housework done, grades are falling behind, and I go to sleep incredibly early. I'll just hang on.

                                                                                               

Cooking

I've started making more home-made meals lately. Some of them have been awful, but a lot of them have been pretty awesome. I also discovered that I can of enjoy cooking. Well, I enjoy it unless I have a little voice saying, "Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma....." That gets pretty stressful.

But hey, if anyone wants a really good crockpot roast recipe.... yum... basaltic vinegar pot roast....YUM!

Since our tax problem, though. i've had to cut the more expensive meals and we've had a lot of hamburger helper and spaghetti... but those are pretty yummy. Also, since we've picked up extra work, we have done a lot of fast food because we don't have time to cook. Not so healthy.

Snowshoeing

Well, before our problem we were going snowshoeing every other weekend. AND IT WAS A BLAST! A plot of work, but a blast. Next year, I plan on doing this a lot. First, it's a lot of fun getting outside during the winter when I normally hiss at an open door letting in the freezing air. I hate being cold. But, I'm usually hot when I'm snowshoeing, so that's not a problem. Second, the dogs get out and they just love it. Third, it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Last, I got to spend some much-needed time with Jay.

Charlie

Charlie is learning so much lately. This morning I was listening to him and he was counting to ten. He won't do it if he thinks I'm listening. But I heard him, he was doing it! I think he kept missing 6 though.
He FINALLY has his colors. He was telling me all of the colors of his cars the other day. I think he just had to make sure he had it down perfectly in order to show me. I don't know why. I wouldn't be disappointed in him.
He talks in complete sentences now all of the time. He's really good at explaining what he wants. He's also really good at talking back to me too. Little butt-head. He's starting to get in trouble for it, though.
It's nice that we can actually reason with him now. I can tell him to eat 3 more bites and he'll understand that if he does that he can get down. It's really nice. And he's really nice. Seriously, I love the little guy.

I've had this awful feeling that I haven't been the best mom and definitely won't be a great mom as I pick up more shifts at Hale and work more. And I've been really upset about it. I feel like he sees more of my Grandma than he sees me and it just doesn't feel g
ood knowing that that's just going to be what life is as a working mom.
I know I'm being ridiculous. I know we need the money and I HAVE to work extra at Hale. I know that without my job we wouldn't be able to afford a house or really any of the things we need. I know that I would go absolutely cray being a stay-at-home Mom. I know I have the summers off to spend as much time with Charlie as I want. But, it just plain hurts to drop him off at 6 in the morning and then, if I am lucky and don't stay and help a student, go see him for 10 minutes and change for Hale. Then pick him up at 6:30 for the night. That's if I'm only working 1 shift at Hale. If I work 2 shows, and there's a LOT of that coming up soon as we do more matinees for Les Mis, it could nearly 11 before I get to pick him up. It just breaks me.
Now, so far, I've only worked a few extra shows at Hale, it hasn't been too often. But in about a week... oh my. If I were you, I would stay far away from me. I'm gunna be one explosive piece of dynamite.
Now, I know Charlie loves me. And, I've been told MANY times by many GREAT and supportive people that I'm a better mom for making sure that my child is taken care of financially. I know that all of this will be over soon. We can do it, and I will always love my little boy and will do my best to take care of him.

Charlie just had his 2 1/2 month check up. He's average as far as height and weight are concerned, maybe a little on the tall side. He's as healthy as a horse and his doctor is impressed with his speaking abilities. She told me she thought he was going to be a very bright young man. Now, she might be saying that make me happy, but it worked. Nothing could make me happier.
Charlie was really excited to stand on the big boy scale and he has been talking about how the doctor looked into his eyes and ears since we went. Cute little guy.

School

Schools been good. My students are great this year and I feel like I do a good job. 

There are a few things that have been a little more than a thorn in my side this month, though.

1st, dang end of year tests. I hate them. They hurt the education process so much. That is all.

2nd, since I am in my first 3 years I am a provisional teacher and I have to do a bunch of stuff to help me be a better teacher. But, I've heard all they have to say very recently, in college. I feel like most everything we do is a waste of my time. And I don't have a lot of time to waste. Also, all of these people that are mentoring us have their own little biases to certain people, certain practices, certain colleagues form certain schools they were hired together from, and all the political crap is driving me crazy.

3rd, I am worried about how AP Biology works next year. It just makes me anxious. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, but you know me.

Really, though. I love teaching biology. I can't think of anything much better. There may be one other job that might be better for me out there. But, it wouldn't work out with the other things in life that I want. So I am VERY happy with my career choice.

Some Awesome Pictures

December

Well, December flew by. I didn't even realize it was nearly over until I had started the Christmas Break. And oh what a break it has been. We have two full weeks off. I'm on the Tuesday of the 2nd week, and I'm pretty dang happy. Yes, the anxiety of next week has been creeping in, but I've planned an easy day so that we can slide in easily. Oh, there's Charlie, just woke up. Be back!
WellI'm back after an hour and a half. Kinda, I have to type when Charlie's back is turned or he yells at me. He's been pretty selfish with my time lately. All I've done for the last week is play with Charlie's new Christmas cars. Every time I get out my phone to text Jay or check Facebook he points at me and says, "Momma, pocket." It kind of cracks me up because that's what I do all day long with my students.
Anyway, let's see. There's not a whole lot to talk about right now. Everything has been going as usual,  busy busy Brooke with hardly no time to play. So, I'll talk about the holidays.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was kind of business as usual. We went to both Jay's family dinner and my family's dinner. I can't think of anything particularly crazy happening. Charlie at more than cranberries this year, which was nice for me later on.
After Thanksgiving the rest of the year flew by. I didn't even realize December had come for a long time.

Christmas

So, let's jump into December and Christmas. Once again, it was pretty much business as usual. Jay and I couldn't really stop to take a breath most weeks. Busy busy busy. Christmas shopping, Christmas Carol at Hale, Christmas parties at work, other meetings at work... no wonder the month flew by.
Charlie unwrapped his present the week before Christmas. After he unwrapped it, I rewrapped it, but he called it hid Big Truck Present afterword.

He really enjoyed Christmas once he got to start opening presents. It was tough at first, because he wanted to play with the stuff he had already opened more than unwrap more presents. Needless to say, he was spoiled.

Jay and I were also spoiled this year. Thank you everyone! We got a lot of cash. Instead of saving it and using it for the good of our finances, we've decided that we want to take a trip to Wendover soon. Now, we won't spend it all. Usually we take 40 bucks, split it between us, and once it's gone, it's gone. I know our church doesn't want us gambling, but I think of it more as spending some money to go relax and play some games. I just love watching the little wheels spin on the slot machines! We never spend more than we've set aside.

New Years

Well, today is New Years eve. We're planning a couple of fun things. First, I'm going to Leatherbys with my friends around noon. I haven't seen them for a long time. We're all so busy, it's nearly impossible to get together. But I love them!

Then, we're going over to Grandma's to play games and eat food and some fireworks. It should be fun. I don't know if Charlie is going to make it to midnight, but that's ok.

New Years Resolutions.... Yeah, I have a lot this year. 

1. Jay and I want to start paying our tithing again. We've been extremely bad at that lately. We haven't paid in a long time.

2. Walk every day. We always hole up during the winter and both of us are a lot happier if we walk a mile every day. The dogs are too. We also want to start snowshoeing on the weekends. I'm excited!

3. Take my iron pill every day. It'll make me happier.

4. Clean and feed the small pets every day. they are all the way downstairs, so sometimes, since we're so busy, they got forgotten. I always feel awful....

We'll see how well these go.

Charlie

Charlie is growing, growing, growing. His vocabulary is exploding and he's learning sentence structuring and even pronouns. It makes me happy. Now, if only he'd be willing to be potty trained. He is not there yet. In fact, a couple of weeks ago he told me, "Mamma, I'm not ready." Little turd.
Yesterday, he picked something up that broke my heart. When I put him down for his nap, he started screaming, "Don't leave me, Mamma." :( That is just plain mean, Charlie. He did again when it was time for bed. He knows what buttons to push.

Pets

All the pets are doing well. I think the rat might be ready to kick the bucket, he's getting older. He always looks grumpy. 

I got a lizard for a classroom pet. It's a bearded dragon. His name is toothless, and he's kind of a pain in the butt. Lot's of maintenance. Next time I'll be getting a simple leopard gecko.

Whitney is actually beginning to grow on us. I think she's finally become an official member of the family. If only she'd stop jumping the fence.

Jay and I

We're doing well, just busy. Our lack of time to relax has caused a few arguments lately, but I think as things calm down a bit we'll be able to relax.

School is going good, I always feel like I'm behind and I'm a little worried about next year for reasons  I can't talk about, but I love what I do and that won't change.