Old Hobbies die hard

So I've decided that if Pokemon make me happy, I'll just let myself indulge in this odd obsession....
Sigh, I just love collecting those cards.
As for my other hobby I'm planning on starting, I'm waiting until Spring then I'll start

Spring Break

Spring Break was really interesting for me. First, Jay really didn't want to go to work with me home all day, poor kid. So, he ended up using 2 vacation days to stay home for 2/5 of the week. Which was fun.
I went for a hike nearly every day of the week, except Tuesday, because it was snowing.
I spent a total of 10 hours on homework, that darn timeline for history of science, and that was all.... Apparently a very large and time-consuming assignment.
Colton, Jay, and I went to see Watchmen.... I hated it. I'm just not that into gore and crap just for the sake of gore and crap. But I do like horror movies.... just not that into extra-violent super-hero movies, except Batman, but he's just too awesome.
Jesse and I hung out on Wednesday, I forgot how talkative she was... wow....
I visited Mr. Moore and Mr. Fuller, it was good to see my substitute father-figures. Sadly, I've given up trying to hide that's what they were, it was how it was. Family-life just sucked at that point in time.
Friday we went to Hastings' and Jayde's house and had that extra-wonderful stew she makes (MUST GIVE ME SOME KIND OF RECIPE BEFORE YOU LEAVE HASTINGS) and watched our favorite sleuth. Poirot, I'm starting to get back into that obsession.
SATURDAY WAS FUN! We had kind of a lame hike because the dang leopards think they own the state, but after that we had some fun.
Jay and I went to The Outdooor Expo, and we got excited about the summer. There was a lot of hunting stuff there that was imteresting to at least look at. I'm gunna go fishing this summer, darn it!
THEN! Dinner at the Mayan. :D Seeing Grandma's face when her children told her they were sending her to Hawaii, something I'll never forget, happy tears.
:D
Oh, I got glasses too! They're nice!

Unstable

I miss High School. I miss being able to do things that I wanted to do with absolutely no consequences. It didn't matter what I did with my time, as long as I kept my grades up (which has always been easy for me)
I feel like now everything I do matters! And I hate it. I We can't do anything without it affecting something. Not even our free-time and fun goes without consequences. it scares me. I miss my world of stability. I don't like the real world.
In my human development class we learned about a pyramid of needs we have to satisfy. The needs on the bottom are most important and have to be satisfied before the needs above even matter.
I feel like I'm in the safety level. And that all I can think about is security. Which I've decided is so very unfair to Jay. I use him for security more than I do for love/belonging.... it's not fair to him. I mean I do need him for the love/belonging level, and I feel like I've been to that level before, but right now, safety is all that matters. Which, by the way, hurts Jay and puts him down to the trying to find love/belonging level.
Hastings, help.... is this a stage that everyone goes through growing up. Feeling like the world is so unstable. That if I do one thing wrong I'm gunna ruin the rest of my life! I hate this feeling, and I want to get past it so I can grow. But how?
Quote of the day:"People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public." Bryan White