Sunday, November 30, 2014

I am thankful for my boys

November has flown by. We have been one busy little family; flying from one task to the next. It's taken a toll, we've had a lot of stress-related anxieties and arguments lately. We've talked about it, though, so I am hoping that we'll at least breathe and think a little harder before we say or do mean things.  We need to go to each other for support when we are struggling, not get snippy or take it out on each other.
Did that sound a little preachy? It felt like it, but it's been on my mind lately. I don't want to be fighting this whole Holiday Season because of communication problems and being stressed. 
What's got us so stressed, you ask? Well, Roland has us both tired, that's just part of having a baby. I've got school, and I'll talk more about that later. Jay's stressed because he has a whole ton going on. There's work, Hale, and school. He's just tired. I get it, I really do.
But, I'm not just going to post depressing crap. There's a lot of positive going on right now, too.
Charlie has finally started going potty! I think we're there. Now, that said, I think we've gone a few steps backwards with this insanely busy Thanksgiving Weekend, but I'm hoping it won't be too hard to jump back on the wagon. I'm so proud of him. As soon as he decided he wanted to do it, he did it. Such a sweet little guy, my Charlie. I have really enjoyed watching him grow. 
We took him on the Frontrunner on Friday, just because we've been meaning to do it. He loves trains. He was really excited to get on and see the train. He got bored once we were on the train, but I think it was worth it. It was an afternoon about him, and that's the important thing. He needs one of those every once in a while. 
Roland didn't particularly care for the Frontrunner ride. Roland doesn't really care for much except eating, sleeping, and being held anyway.
But! HE SMILES!!! He has started just beaming, especially when he is getting his diaper changed. I think he likes being naked. This means that Jay gets most of the smiles (we have a system... I feed, he changes... Plus, I carried the kid for 9 and a half months) but he seems to be more of a Daddy's boy anyway. Anyway, his smiles are beautiful. The only things better than baby smiles are baby giggles and baby cuddles. Period, end of story.
Roland has also started speaking his mind, using his sweet little voice. Along with his smiles he enjoys telling people all about his day during diaper changes. He also enjoys talking to the television and any lights. In fact, lights are the most fascinating things in the world. Roland can stare at a light for a very very very long period of time. I love his sweet little "Ooooo." 
Roland is a pretty good little baby. His eating is just plain weird, though. It seems all over the place and I don't have any idea what to tell the doctor when she asks how often and how much this week. Seriously, sometimes he drains 5 ounces and wants more. Sometimes he only eats an ounce and refuses more. And sometimes he goes 2 hours and then is screaming for more and sometimes he'll go 4. Nighttime is the only time hat he is relatively consistent. He eats at  10, then sometime around 4. On the weekends he wakes up around 7 for more. Not bad. Not bad at all... Good baby.
I a very excited for Brandy to meet him. I can't wait for her to come home for Christmas!!! So close. I can't wait and Charlie most definitely won't wait much longer. So close! I really missed Brandy this Thanksgiving. 
Speaking of Thanksgiving, it went well. I've really enjoyed this long weekend with my family. We really needed some more time to spend together lately with only a minimal amount of stress. It's made me REALLY excited for Christmas break and excited for Christmas in a very long time. 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 It is now time to start decorating, Charlie will get more joy out of it than anyone else, but that is perfectly fine to me. I just have to get ready to face my fear of spiders to go get the stuff from the basement... I went down today, saw a spider, and ran for my life.
I guess it's time to talk a little bit about school. Positives first: I applied for a grant at the beginning of the year and I found out that my proposal was actually accepted (well half of it anyway) a couple of weeks ago. Yay, more AP bio equipment! 
Really, though, school has just been stressing me out so much lately. My AP classes are so far behind and I feel like I will definitely not get through everything this year. Still, it is my first year teaching AP, so I shouldn't expect perfection. And I'm still planning lessons, another HUGE source of stress. I am quickly running out of my lessons that I planned over the summer. Soon I will be spending my nights planning for the next day and I will not be very happy then. I have tried many times over the past few weeks to plan during my consultation, but everything I need to get done has been taking so long!!! I haven't been able to get anything planned. It's been so stressful that I've come home in tears of frustration multiple times over the past few weeks. I don't want to plan when I come home. Home is a place to be with my family. But, I have to have plans for the next day. Sigh, I knew this year would be the year from Hell.
There, I tried to be more positive than negative and I think I succeeded. Hopefully I will find time to write next week.
Brooke out

Sunday, November 9, 2014

This Past Week

Now that I've started writing, I've realized that I don't know what I want to talk about. Mommy brain. I'll just do the normal sections. I had so much to talk about yesterday. Today I don't. 

Charlie and a Roland

My boys, I love my boys. I was planning on spending a lot of time with them this week, promised myself I would not be so busy. Fail. Just fail. Well, we'll make it a goal for this week. 
I want to start working on Charlie's counting and saying the ABCs. I've kind of stopped, I've been so busy, but I want to help my baby be the best he can be. 
Oh! I think we've made a potty training break through. He's actually pooped in the potty quite a few times this week. He hasn't been perfect, but I think it's been an important break through. He's not so scared of pooping.
Roland is eating so much right now, he must be on a growth spurt. I've started having a lot of fun with him. He's gotten to the point that he's developing a personality. He's started half-smiling. Beautiful, acne-covered face. I'm not so scared of him either, he's a little sturdier. I've also gotten some great cuddles in the middle of the night. Really really REALLY good cuddles. He's growing so fast. I'm already missing his petite little 5 pound body.


I love school. It stresses me out, but I love it. Right now my biggest source of stress is the fact that my AP classes are about a month and a half behind. I'm terrified that we won't get far enough and whenever I think about it my heart skips many beats. So I've been asking for advice from other AP teachers. The best idea came from a source I wasn't expecting much help from. I think what I'm going to do is just stay the course, go as fast as the students can, but not kill them. Then, I will take the kids who are serious about taking the AP test and doing some extra study sessions in the spring. We'll either do a night every week or a whole Saturday once a month, I can't decide. I'll also give those students some extra work over the winter break. I've just got to decide what that extra shall be. Probably some organ system or ecology stuff.

Home Life

My house is such a mess. I come home and I don't feel like doing anything at all. But, it's disgusting. I need to just pick one room a week to clean and clean well. Then I can feel somewhat accomplished. Sigh, it's just hard. Between Charlie and the animals as soon as I get something cleabed another part of the house has been destroyed. It's disheartening. Homes are too much trouble.

Thoughts of the Future

I can't wait for summer already. ;) I know you're thinking I have a long wait. You're right. But, the summer is going to be fun! It sounds like we're going to Disneyland in June. Plus, I asked Jay if we could take some time in Yellowstone (I hear Charlie asking about going back at least once a week). Jay didn't say no, so I'm counting it as a yes. :)
Also, summer 2016 I'm thinking is another Canada summer. Could be fun! We're thinking Niagara Falls this time. 

Pictures FINALLY

 I finally got my pictures from October off my camera. So, here are all of the pictures I owed you from October.