Sunday, November 30, 2014

I am thankful for my boys

November has flown by. We have been one busy little family; flying from one task to the next. It's taken a toll, we've had a lot of stress-related anxieties and arguments lately. We've talked about it, though, so I am hoping that we'll at least breathe and think a little harder before we say or do mean things.  We need to go to each other for support when we are struggling, not get snippy or take it out on each other.
Did that sound a little preachy? It felt like it, but it's been on my mind lately. I don't want to be fighting this whole Holiday Season because of communication problems and being stressed. 
What's got us so stressed, you ask? Well, Roland has us both tired, that's just part of having a baby. I've got school, and I'll talk more about that later. Jay's stressed because he has a whole ton going on. There's work, Hale, and school. He's just tired. I get it, I really do.
But, I'm not just going to post depressing crap. There's a lot of positive going on right now, too.
Charlie has finally started going potty! I think we're there. Now, that said, I think we've gone a few steps backwards with this insanely busy Thanksgiving Weekend, but I'm hoping it won't be too hard to jump back on the wagon. I'm so proud of him. As soon as he decided he wanted to do it, he did it. Such a sweet little guy, my Charlie. I have really enjoyed watching him grow. 
We took him on the Frontrunner on Friday, just because we've been meaning to do it. He loves trains. He was really excited to get on and see the train. He got bored once we were on the train, but I think it was worth it. It was an afternoon about him, and that's the important thing. He needs one of those every once in a while. 
Roland didn't particularly care for the Frontrunner ride. Roland doesn't really care for much except eating, sleeping, and being held anyway.
But! HE SMILES!!! He has started just beaming, especially when he is getting his diaper changed. I think he likes being naked. This means that Jay gets most of the smiles (we have a system... I feed, he changes... Plus, I carried the kid for 9 and a half months) but he seems to be more of a Daddy's boy anyway. Anyway, his smiles are beautiful. The only things better than baby smiles are baby giggles and baby cuddles. Period, end of story.
Roland has also started speaking his mind, using his sweet little voice. Along with his smiles he enjoys telling people all about his day during diaper changes. He also enjoys talking to the television and any lights. In fact, lights are the most fascinating things in the world. Roland can stare at a light for a very very very long period of time. I love his sweet little "Ooooo." 
Roland is a pretty good little baby. His eating is just plain weird, though. It seems all over the place and I don't have any idea what to tell the doctor when she asks how often and how much this week. Seriously, sometimes he drains 5 ounces and wants more. Sometimes he only eats an ounce and refuses more. And sometimes he goes 2 hours and then is screaming for more and sometimes he'll go 4. Nighttime is the only time hat he is relatively consistent. He eats at  10, then sometime around 4. On the weekends he wakes up around 7 for more. Not bad. Not bad at all... Good baby.
I a very excited for Brandy to meet him. I can't wait for her to come home for Christmas!!! So close. I can't wait and Charlie most definitely won't wait much longer. So close! I really missed Brandy this Thanksgiving. 
Speaking of Thanksgiving, it went well. I've really enjoyed this long weekend with my family. We really needed some more time to spend together lately with only a minimal amount of stress. It's made me REALLY excited for Christmas break and excited for Christmas in a very long time. 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄 It is now time to start decorating, Charlie will get more joy out of it than anyone else, but that is perfectly fine to me. I just have to get ready to face my fear of spiders to go get the stuff from the basement... I went down today, saw a spider, and ran for my life.
I guess it's time to talk a little bit about school. Positives first: I applied for a grant at the beginning of the year and I found out that my proposal was actually accepted (well half of it anyway) a couple of weeks ago. Yay, more AP bio equipment! 
Really, though, school has just been stressing me out so much lately. My AP classes are so far behind and I feel like I will definitely not get through everything this year. Still, it is my first year teaching AP, so I shouldn't expect perfection. And I'm still planning lessons, another HUGE source of stress. I am quickly running out of my lessons that I planned over the summer. Soon I will be spending my nights planning for the next day and I will not be very happy then. I have tried many times over the past few weeks to plan during my consultation, but everything I need to get done has been taking so long!!! I haven't been able to get anything planned. It's been so stressful that I've come home in tears of frustration multiple times over the past few weeks. I don't want to plan when I come home. Home is a place to be with my family. But, I have to have plans for the next day. Sigh, I knew this year would be the year from Hell.
There, I tried to be more positive than negative and I think I succeeded. Hopefully I will find time to write next week.
Brooke out

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