Friday, September 2, 2011


I'm writing this while I write up a homework assignment, so I'm sorry if it seems a little disjointed. There is something I want to get written in here before I forget all about it.
During class today we were talking about people with disabilities and we listened to a poem from a mom to her son after his birth. From what I could tell the boy was blind. But that's not the part I want to talk about. She started talking about how she didn't count fingers or toes or anything like that, she just nuzzled him. This brought on a huge surge of emotions in me. I started tearing up and stopped listening for a minute. I want to talk about how I felt when Charlie was born before I forget all about it. It's already a very foggy memory for me, mostly because I was kind of out of it after working so hard to push him out.
When I first saw Charlie he had his face screwed up in a little scowl, a face I've come to recognize as the 'wake up' face. I don't remember if he was crying or not, but I don't think he was (which was probably why they took him away from me so quickly). They placed him on my chest and started rubbing him down with towels. I remember looking at him, grabbing his little hand and crying. I was so happy. I was so grateful that God would trust me with this precious little package and that he would be mine to love and care for. I remember seeing Jay and feeling a surge of love for him, too. I never would have gotten through the pregnancy without his love and support. I was grateful for all the support from my family and friends. So, I sat there and cried with happiness until they took him away to try and get him to cry. I could see them working on him, but the doctor was trying to distract me and showed me my placenta and stuff (of course I was interested!) Jay didn't leave my side until I got Charlie back to try and feed him for the first time. A happy memory that I didn't want to fade away forever.
Now, onto this week!
What a week. I had to go back to school this week. It hasn't been too bad. Charlie has been letting us get long stretches of sleep most nights this week. Last night he actually let us sleep all night long, oh so nice. The worst part of school was being ripped away from my babe.
So, I started on Tuesday. Tuesday was my short day. Class was only an hour long. So the grandparents just drove me up with little Charlie, that way we were only apart for an hour. I have awesome grandparents.
Class went well and Charlie did fine without me.
Wednesday was a day that I was dreading. I was apart from my dear one for 6 hours. It wasn't too bad. I think I got distracted by a super swollen finger...... I ummmm tried to see if my ring fit yet..... it didn't. I had to go get it cut off by the jeweler..... at least it wasn't my engagement ring. Poor finger. But, I got home, I got my Charlie, and regular life is now in full swing.
And that's been life so far. I go back to work tomorrow, oh joy. But Hastings is coming this weekend!!!!!!
Quote of the Week: "Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep" Fran Lebowitz


CassandJayde said...

That first memory is the best! We had such a great time. Little Charlie is so sweet. I miss him already. (And you guys, too, of course).

CassandJayde said...

That baby Charlie is so sweet! I miss him already (and you guys too!)