Okay, okay, so it's not all that bad. I do end up getting a few nights a week with Charlie. I just always get that "bad-mom" feeling creeping back in when I think about it. (I know, I know, don't give me the whole providing for your family is not a bad-mom move lecture... I know I'm not being a bad mom, but it still feels like it)
And I am excited to get back to teaching. I can't wait to get going, really. I have the hardest time being home all summer. Not because of Charlie, definitely not because of Charlie, but because of the lack of things to do that doesn't involve house-work or spending lots of money. I hate the idea of spending my entire break cleaning the house, so I don't do it (even though... ugh my house). I also can't go to the zoo or to Lagoon or the aquarium because of a lack of funding. Well, funding and I know that Jay would want to come do something like that with us, so I don't want to go without him (though, I don't know when we'd all be able to go together, either. I want to take Charlie to lagoon again, but I wouldn't be able to ride with him, so who knows if he would ride anything by himself... Oh, and who wants to pay that much to sit and watch? Maybe October, depending on a baby.
Anyway, that was a long rant session. Shall I tell you what's been going on?
My little Charlie... he's just perfect. I love him, I love him, I love him.
That said, he's stopped taking naps and I want to bang my head against the wall. Need I say more? :) I think he'll get back to naps when I'm waking him up at 6 in the morning again. Coming soon!
Like I said before, I am excited to get started. If I could just get going and stop worrying about what's going to happen I would feel about a billion times better.
I've got my 1st two AP units planned. I'm hoping to start working on the third unit as soon as next week, but I need to get things copied off and my other classes planned out a little bit better before I can start that again. I also need to get lab supplies ordered. That's kind of the next scariest part. I'm too afraid to even start.
My PLC team seems to be starting out okay. We're a little rocky, it's hard to change, you know? But, I think if we can manage to stay positive and get through the first cycle of teach, assess, and intervention that we'll be okay. Fingers crossed because I don't want this to fall apart.
I am still not certain what's going to happen when the baby is born. It's hard to figure out these details. I guess step one is finding a sub that can manage to follow directions. Someone make me do this next week? I can start by asking the day in charge of all of the subs at Granger. Surely she knows a few good longish term ones. I'm still thinking 1 to 2 weeks is all I'm going to take off, though (Don't judge! I have my reasons, and you won't understand unless you really know me and I don't feel that I have to defend myself on my own blog right now (yes, I'm defensive about it. But if you want to talk about my reasons, feel free to talk to me in person)).
Ummm, I'm an emotional mess right now. Ups and downs and ups and downs. There are various reasons things that get me upset, but I think my inability to control my emotions stems from hormones, lack of sleep due to pregnancy discomforts, and just plain feeling useless.
I'm serious about the sleep thing. I think Ive gotten about 6 hours of sleep over the past 5 days. I won't even mention the weekend... blug.
I want to go on walks, but by the time Jay gets home and it's cool enough to take a walk, I'm too tired. I know what this means, it means I need to get off of my lazy butt and take a walk. It's just hard, you know. I can't take one every day, due to Hale, and that's what's tough. I'm not able to get into the habit of doing it. But, I need it. I'm an active person, normally, and I can't be happy unless I get out of the house and exercise. Jay, take me on walks, please! Force me! Kicking and screaming. We can even drink a slurpee while we walk.
I just realized how negative this post has been. I'm sorry. It's the sleep thing. I'm really not all that unhappy. Please don't stop reading my blog because all I do is complain!
We had a really fun weekend with my Aunt and Uncle up at Bear Lake.We went to Raspberry Dayzz. Really the only way we actually participated in the festival was going to the craft fair. We spent the rest of the weekend up at Hidden Haven, my Aunt and Uncle's property. We had a lot of fun up there. It was mostly just sitting around kind of fun, but it WAS fun. Charlie loves camping and he got very spoiled with time with Aunt Pam. He also got to sleep in a trailer, which was incredibly exciting to him. He's so cute. We rode 4 -wheelers, and Jay even took Charlie a few times. I am sure that was the most exciting experience that child has ever had, at least from the child's perspective. :) (No lectures on children on 4-wheelers, I have complete trust in my husband's driving ability and caution when he is driving with his precious little boy)
I also learned a fun new card game while we were camping. I am dying to play it again, if anyone wants to. I get really excited about card games.