This Week in July

I don't know what was up with this week, but it was tough. Really tough. But, let's talk and stay mainly positive, shall we?

Charlie

Charlie just keeps on growing. He makes me so proud and so happy. I really need to focus more on him, but he has so much more energy than I have. Next week we shall go to the park and the splash pad and play in the pool. He's much too cute to ignore all summer long.
There's been a step made in potty training, even if it was small it was a step. I got a call at Hale Monday night from a very excited little boy telling me all about going poo in the potty and now Grandma is going to take me to get a truck. :) It was cute. He hasn't gone since, but he has tried quite a few times. Like I said, it was a step.
Charlie and cousin Jayde seem to be constantly fighting, lately. I'm hoping it'll calm down after cousin Jayde gets settled into her own routine, because that's one of the things that's been adding to the stress of the week. Though, I really can't say much because I remember teasing a Jayde just as much as she teases Charlie.

School

I've had some fun lately planning out my AP Bio curriculum. I have a lot of work ahead, but it feels good to actually be doing something. This is one of the things that's been taking my mind away from Charlie, so I put a limit on myself today and will probably have to continue to do so until the end of the summer.

Apricots

Today I hate apricots. All week I have hated apricots. I've spent way too much of my time picking rotten apricots off of the ground. No, I do not feel like eating any apricots, either. Picking apricots off of the ground every day makes me very tired most of the time. Well, it probably adds to the trouble, anyway.

Stress Management

Yeah, I've been pretty stressed out this week. Things I'm working on:

Focus more on playing with Charlie.

Find a regular old book to read.

Work on the puzzle.

Take walks in the evening with my hubby instead of just laying on the couch all night. I may be tired, but I'm 95% sure that if it's not mostly in my head that walking would probably help anyway.

Well, I'm tired (yeah, probably in my head) and don't feel like typing too much more. So, I'm off.

Good and Bad

Hey all, I am kind of tired, so this post will probably be very brief. Also, I don't feel like talking about  the negative of this week, because whenever I think about it, it makes me unhappy and I don't feel like being unhappy right now.

Heber Workshop

Granger had a workshop for teachers they asked to be PLC leaders this week. It was two days long and it was up in Heber. It was pretty fun because they got us rooms in a hotel for Monday night. It was a pretty place and it was kind of nice to be on my own. True, I got a little lonely and down, but to be fair to myself, that had a lot to do with the negative part of the week that I'm not going to talk about.

I got lonely enough that I decided to take a drive to the gas station to get a coke and that really helped perk me up. Then I pretty much put the the TV on for some noise and I worked on a curriculum map for AP bio. It made me happy.

I haven't spent a lot of nights without Jay since we were married and that was kind of strange, but the pillows were really comfortable and I'm contemplating making Jay buy me about 8 such pillows that I can just pile up around my body at night.

Oh, the workshop was good, too. I'm pretty excited to start working in PLC at Granger this year. I'm a little nervous about my department buying into the whole idea, but I think they'll come around in time. I'm mostly worried that the veteran teachers won't appreciate a 3-year teacher being in charge, but I'm pretty sure they all think I'm up to the job. We'll just see how it goes come August, eh?

Charlie

Charlie is still growing too fast for me. There's not much else to report, though. We went to a splash pad yesterday and that was fun for him. He was kind of scared of getting water in his face at first. He got a little bit better, but then he got really cold. So, we went and played at the park nearby. Watching him climb up the ladders to slides is so scary. I just want to rush up help him up there, but then he doesn't learn how to navigate them himself. But, I watched him fall from the ladder and grab back on mid-fall twice yesterday (stupid girl who was sitting at the top of the ladder and wouldn't move) and each time my heart about leaped out of my chest to catch him itself. He'd have gotten mad at me if I would have helped  though, Mr. Independent.

Baby

The kid inside of me wiggles around more and more every day. I can't wait until the 31st and I get another ultrasound to see him. Though, that appointment also has some rather uncomfortable aspects to it. (Yucky yucky sugar drink thing).

Like I said, I don't have much more to report. I am rather tired, so I think I'll stop there.

Here are some iPhone pics of the splash-pad, though.

Mid July

Well, I kinda remembered, once again. Not a whole lot to add at the moment, but that's okay. I'll talk about the 3 things that have occupied my week. Before the week started, I was calling it the week from Hell, but I take that back. It really wasn't too bad. Not too bad at all.

Ap conference

Monday morning I woke up not feeling like myself at all. I was really tired and just depressed. Maybe not depressed, maybe just down because of my anxiety over the week and the load of stuff coming my way. Either way, I wasn't very happy or energetic all day. It was okay, though. I only had a curriculum meeting and 2 shows at Hale. You may sense some sarcasm there, but it really was for the best that I felt this way Monday and not the rest of the week.
Tuesday I woke up refreshed and ready to go. I was anxious, but feeling much more like happy Brooke-0. What was I anxious for? The AP conference that had been looming over my summer like a storm cloud that not only promises rain, but an end to the fun that summer brings.
I was worried that this conference would stress me out about the coming year. I was worried that I would find out that what I had been thinking  was totally the wrong idea and that my anxiety would force me to start planning out my whole year with a fervor that no 6.5 month pregnant woman would have the energy to endure.
Well, actually, I had a lot of fun. First, one of my good friends from Weber was there and I got to spend a whole week with her. I made a lot of good friends up at Weber, but I am rarely able to connect with them because most of them are working up in and around Ogden.
The conference was great, too. Not only did I learn that my content knowledge is still strong enough that I won't have to spend a whole lot of time studying about what I'm teaching the day before (don't get me wrong, there are going to be a few days, especially where the data analysis is concerned, but I know my stuff pretty well) but I also found that my ides should work okay and I found a good curriculum map that I can base most of my year off of. I do need to start planning, but I am not feeling stressed about it, like I thought I would feel after the conference.
The biggest thing I got out of that conference was a huge boost in confidence concerning the labs. Before, I was planning on doing labs, but they looked terrifying and some of them seemed out of my reach. Well, we set up the labs and actually did them during the conference and talked about ways to save money if we don't have the budget or equipment required. It was great, now I feel so much more confident about setting up these labs that really were daunting before. I also have ideas about where I can save some money. I do plan on making a pretty big shopping list for my administration, but it won't be the end of the world if I get told no at this point.
I still do have my worries. I'm worried about planning with a new baby and I'm worried about grading. I think I'd worry about the sun coming up every morning if I had nothing else to worry about. But, this conference really did do more good than harm and I'm actually wishing I could go back next year. Too bad it cost my district $650 to send me... I doubt they'd think I need to go two years in a row.

Preggy pains

I'm going to whine for a little bit right now. If you don't want to read whining please feel free to skip to Charlie. I totally understand, I hate listening to people whine, but I need to do it for a little bit.

This week has sucked as far as my body being something that I can actually stand to live inside. Every little task is utterly exhausting. Walking up the stairs to my bedroom is utterly exhausting. The worst thing about this is not being tired, but actually having to slow down and admit to myself (and others, and it's the others that hurts the most) that I'm not up to certain tasks or up to doing very much at all, really. I went and picked apricots for 15 minutes today, in the shade, and I came in feeling dizzy. And that was it, I was done in for the rest of the day. :( I hate feeling weaker than those around me. And I hate not being able to do all of the millions of things I stress out about needing to do. I want to clean my house because I'm know of those freaks who needs a house that isn't messy in order to relax. How can I relax of I know that there are dishes in the sink. But, instead of helping my husband clean a disaster of a ferret cage, I sat and did a puzzle. Gah! Not that I had any desire to play with the ferret poop, but I hate sitting while others around me are working.

The heartburn is back. I was up all night long Thursday night. Only past experience with it held me back from running to the ER. It's scary when you wake up and you can't breathe because your entire chest area is tense and every time you swallow your own spit it feels as if you opened the gates of hell and magma is rushing throughout your throat, heart, and lungs. Think I'm exaggerating? I'm sure those of you who've had heartburn with a canteloupe sized ball squishing your abdomen know that I have described the feeling aptly.

Then there's the complete inability to get comfortable and the constant backache. Oh, and don't forget needing to pee every few minutes because you are trying to avoid waking up screaming in the middle of the night because a Charlie Horse is wringing your leg muscles like a wet dish towel. Yeah, that happened this week, too.

Charlie 

This little boy is just incredible. He's so worried about me, with all of my pains. He keeps talking about getting me some medicine so I can be all better. He cuddles me. He asks if the baby is feeling okay. And, he is perfectly willing to be my little slave.

That said, he's almost three and has discovered an attitude... Oy. But I love him! 

He has also started an interior decorating service that is the bane of all mothers. We lost some paint on our walls today and we couldn't even yell at him, we were too busy sleeping.

He has become good friends with his cousin Jayde, who moved in with us last week. He follows her around like a puppy dog, even of she tortures him almost every second they are together. Seriously, he ran into my room screaming and crying because she left the house. Silly child.

Well, not much else to talk about at the moment. Unless you like apricots.

Free apricots!!!!

 

Summer some more:

I did it! I'm writing in this blog and it's only been a day more than a week. It's kind of nice because it's only been a week and I really don't have too much I have to write about. So, it shouldn't take hours! 

Summer is going fast, I can't believe it's already July. I'm happy to be spending some time with my little guy. I haven't had the whole week with him this week, due to some meetings at school and some associated work, but we have had some time to just chill on the couch. I've been rather lazy because I've been tired, so it's pretty much been a tv week, but it's been a good week. Next week I have work nearly the whole week, but I'm planning on making up for it the days I don't work the week after. I'm thinking we'll even have to skip nap time one day and hit a swimming pool.

School

I guess I could explain about school taking over my summer. My department is getting paid for collaborating on common assessments this summer and we started those meeting this week. It's been rather scary because I somehow was made the PLC leader of my department. So I've been leading these meetings and trying to convince my department that the change to a PLC scheme is for the best. I don't know if I've done the best job at it, but I have a pretty good quote from the book that I'm being paid to read to share with them. 

Why is it so scary to lead, you ask? Well, I'm only in my 2nd year of teaching and I have been put in charge of  teachers who have been teaching for 15-25 years. Luckily, everyone likes me and we have the same viewpoint on a lot of things, but still. I have already had the seniority and played on me. I'm relieved that it was the wife of a teacher and not the teacher himself, but still... 

Why aren't these senior teachers in charge? I really have no idea because they are really really good teachers, somehow they just got on the bad side of the administration, so here I am. The reason the administration gave me was that I was the only teacher who has some kind of data analysis going on concerning my assessments. But, I've been keeping such simplistic data... I dunno, I'm just worried about feelings getting hurt. Another worry is that I guess I get to do the number crunching for the whole department once we start taking these assessments. They're paying me for an extra period do it, but with all of my other obligations it seems daunting.

Oh, and in 2 weeks I get to go to some special training to be a PLC leader. They're putting us up in a hotel and everything, so I'm excited. I like hotels.

Next week, though, is what I've been worried about for the last few months. It's a four day training in Woods Cross (no hotel) on teaching AP Biology. Here's the thing about AP. I'm excited to teach it, and even a little excited to grade papers for it, but I'm not excited to plan the curriculum for it. With a baby on the way, it's a scary big task. I'm hoping this conference will give a lot of resources and not stress me out too much. I know I need to go in with the idea that there's no way that I can do everything they teach me, at least not in my first year teaching AP. I just have to do the best I can do.

Charlie

Mostly more of the same stuff for Charlie. He's super cute and has the personality of a hundred two year olds. 

New cutest Charlie saying ever: "Nice _____ you have." So cute. 

Nice house you have. 

Nice shoes you have.

Nice dog you have. ;)

I love this kid.

Being pregnant

I've definitely felt pregnant this week. I get tired so easily. I've decided on Hale days in going to have to take it easy as much as I can so that I can actually make it through Hale. This really worried me when I think about school starting. But, I'll figure it out and just try and enjoy it as much as possible.

I swear this kid like to play jump rope with his umbilical cord. He's kicking my butt. Hard.

Carrie

Well, it's happening. We're about to get some new tenants. We're in Colorado as I write getting them packed up to move into our home! One day more and we'll all be there, together. I'm sure there will be challenges, but t should be fun!

Let's see if I rember to write, or even have one to, next week.

It's Summer Time

Well, here it is, it's summer time. I should be able to write once a week. Key word: should.
This has so far been a really busy, and quite stressful, summer vacation. I mean, look, it's June 27th and this is the first time I've posted in the old blog. I am going to try and make a commitment for once a week, but, it probably won't happen.
It looks like when I left you I was feeling pretty down in the dumps about money. Well, our money stresses haven't really changed all that much, but, I am a lot happier. Let me tell you why. Yes, this is going to be a positive post, this is what I keep telling myself.

 Baby

Well, most of you know already, but if you haven't heard, I am pregnant again. I'm 24 weeks (At least this is what the doctor said yesterday, to be perfectly honest I've been so busy these past couple of weeks that I have lost track myself. It sounds crazy that I would forget such an important thing, but I totally have.). It's another boy and I am so very much okay with that. I love little boys and I'm not sure if I'd know what to do with a little girl.

The little guy is due October 14th, and you know, I haven't even given three thoughts to preparing for his arrival. I probably will near the end of the summer, but I am so tired about stressing about things, and I really don't want to stress anymore. I'm just too tired and I want to enjoy being pregnant as much as humanly possible. So, if you want to know how you can help me out, here is the first time I've made a list of things I think I'll need. At least it's a boy, so I can reuse Charlie's clothes and toys.

1. I need a new diaper bag. My current one is disgusting and I wouldn't dream of putting a bottle anywhere near that thing.

2. Our changing table needs a new mattress pad or cover. Charlie has ripped the current one to shreds.

3. Diapers, duh.

4. A new crib mattress or a mattress for a toddler bed. Currently the crib mattress is in Charlie's car bed. It mostly fits.

5. Breast milk storage bags (I went through untold numbers of these with Charlie). Oh, the sanitizing wipes are incredibly useful, too. You can find them in the same area.

6. A list of the very basic things I need to have out of storage and ready for when baby comes home. I can't even think straight enough to get this into my mind.

Really, we don't need all that much. We just need to find what we already have. I need to get Jay down to find all of our baby stuff.

So, I guess, even though I am trying to be positive, I should say that this has been the main cause of my money worries. I found out we were pregnant just before we found out about the tax problem (see last post). So, I'm a bit panicked. Mostly because I am not sure what were going to have to pay. I've called insurance companies, I've talked to the doctor. They try really hard to make sense, but they don't. They spit out all kinds of numbers, but they can't just give me one solid number that I'm going to have to pay. And, hey, we have no savings right now. Things keep coming at us from out of no where. So, yeah, I'm a little scared. Yes, I know part of our problem is our spending on things we don't necessarily need, but part of it stems from us actually needing something, but then wanting to put some good money into it so we know it will last and we get what we want in the first place instead of needing to spend more down the line. Example: Refrigerator, we bought an expensive one when it broke. Camera, Jay just bought me a super nice camera. I've been talking about getting one and my last camera just went useless on me, so he got a nice one. Now, I have it and can stop wasting money on cameras that give me sort of what I want for half of the price Jay paid for this new one. I know what you're thinking, judge me if you want. Why, if she is worried about money would she let her husband buy that kind of camera? Well, hey, you know? It's been quite a long time since Brooke has let Jay spend some money on her and after the year we've been having, I needed some money spent on me. Got it?! Sounds pitiful, right? Well I don't care. I stick my tongue out at you. :P

Wow, sorry. Long money rant. Back to positive. So, if anyone has any kind of good estimate of total dollars this baby will cost, I'd like to hear it. We are insured. My deductible is $750 and our maximum out of pocket is $1500. But there's that for me and then there's that for the baby as well. And I know it sounds like it should be easy to figure out form there. But, my mind is not letting me make that leap, it just won't. I've fretted over it for many hours now...

Anyway, baby. He has no name yet. It's Jay's turn to name the baby, but you know Jay. He's not good with decisions. So, we'll see. It doesn't help that I have vetoed a few of them that I wouldn't be able to stand. Other than that, things look mostly good. Baby is healthy. He kicks awfully hard, though.

Carrie

I am SOOOO excited because my Aunt Carrie is coming to live with us for a while. She moved to Colorado a few years ago, and to be frank, that just sucked. I love Carrie. We hang out a lot and we connect really well. She's my Hastings and her daughter is my Bob (Poirot reference, watch and read Poirot). 

Well, she's moving back to Salt Lake and this house is going to be a lot less empty very very soon. I am soooo excited. Even though there will be a teenager in the house ;). 

Missing Brandy

Well, it happened. My best friend and twin sister, Brandy, moved away. To California. Way too far away. I guess her husband, left, too. ;) It's been tough not having her to go to for a hug in these stressful months. Jay and I have been worried about them, almost constantly, but they seem to be making it on there own. I'm proud of them, but I miss my sister immeasurably. The house has just been incredibly lonely. I know can always call Brandy, but our schedules haven't been coinciding very well, at all. It's been a little tough. Though my goal is to call at least once a week. It'll get better.

Charlie

My little boy is growing up very fast. He seems pretty intelligent to me, though I might just be biased. He's getting very good at letting me know what he wants and his vocabulary has just gone nuts. He's got most of his colors down, he counted to 18 today, and he's working on his ABCs. He skips a lot of letters right now. I think we'll have to add singing the ABCs together as part of the nightly routine or something to try and help him out with it. He's so cute. Stubborn as all get out. He WILL NOT learn something if he does not want to. Which, is why he is not potty trained. Sigh.

I love him so much. Charlie is getting quite the personality. Sweet yet independent. He loves to help me with chores, but there's not much he can do without making a bigger mess. We'll work on it. 

Still blonde, still has blue eyes, and still the cutest kid in the state. You probably will never change my mind.

School

School ended. It seemed to drag near the end, but we made it. It was a good 2nd year. I'll miss a lot of those kids.

I got a nice long list of things I have to do this summer for school, but I don't plan on working too long. I have meetings and conferences and much planning to do to prepare for next year, though.

Next year is going to be insane. Aside from having a newborn in October, I will be teaching AP Biology next year, and I get to put together the entire curriculum map and lesson plans myself. Nobody in my school has taught it since the course was changed. I did hear some comforting news, though. Apparently, the biology test is the hardest AP test to pass. Joy. No, I really am excited. I'd like to get started on some lesson planning, but I think I will wait until I go to the conference in July. That will help me get a good start. I did receive some materials from a teacher at Skyline High School. It seemed like that would be fairly helpful. It's just a little stressful, thinking about all the things I have to do to get this course ready. I can't wait for more motivated students!

I also am going to be the PLC leader next year. So, I get to go to some training for that this summer as well. It seems like it should be rather straight forward, but with my department, nothing is easy. I also get to be in charge of all of the data collection for my department. To be perfectly honest, that's the part about being the PLC leader that scares me the most. It's going to take away one whole prep period, and you know. Grading AP biology, trying plan an AP biology curriculum, AND do all of my regular other biology class stuff in one prep period is a little daunting. Remember, newborn at home.

So, I'm hoping to not have to do too much at home this year, but I'm planning on it. Hoping to have a lot of help from Jay and even Carrie with Charlie. Newborns are easy (ha ha ha ha ha ha, I know), it's my poor, sweet little Charlie that I worry about.

Summer

So, like I said, it's going to be a busy summer. I am trying to focus on Charlie this summer, though. He needs me. Soon, he'll have to learn to share me.

We bought him a little swimming pool this week. He seems to really like it, even though it's cold. I'm still trying to decide about swimming lessons. I'd have to swim with him, but my schedule might not allow me to go to every lesson.

Other than that, I'm just trying to make sure we aren't watching TV all data every day. We've been to the park, to the store, and we've played in the pool. I'm already running out of cheap ideas. ;)

Yellowstone

Yellowstone, the vacation I have been looking forward to for 6 months. It was so beautiful. We had never been in June before last week. Boy, did we learn that June has a set of challenges in Yellowstone.

1st thing, my camera started to bug out on my just before Yellowstone. The black spot of doom had come back. I was aware of that from the start and I was just planning on editing it out, because I can do that. But, when we got to Yellowstone, I discovered that it was much worse than that. My camera was having focusing issues. I could only zoom to a certain point when the camera would refuse to focus. Ugh. Also, my pictures are all fairly low quality because high quality pictures take up too much space on my sd card. I took some great pictures, beautiful. But, you can hardly tell.

Hey, did you know how freezing Yellowstone is in June? I do now. We lived by the fire. We were rained on and snowed on. It was beautiful, if a little trying at times. Most of the time we were there, we were wet. Still, it was a great, new experience.

Jeep broke down. Grrr. Big towing bill that will "hopefully" be reimbursed. The battery died! And if we had tried to fix it, out warranty might have been voided, so, big towing bill. Plus, we didn't actually figure out that it was the battery... even with all of the experienced mechanics we had with us! Luckily the battery was covered under the warranty. :D

Like I said, I loved Yellowstone in June, though. There were so many baby animals and we saw over 19 bears. It was great! And, the views. Trust me, stormy skies over the Yellowstone landscape are UNBEATABLE. So, so pretty. I already want to go back to Yellowstone. Please? Someone take me?

New Toy

I told you my camera died. Well, Jay kinda took matters into his own hands and bought me a nice new camera yesterday. I nice, expensive camera. So, expect some awesome pictures coming, once I figure out how to use it. :D
Oh, here's some Yellowstone pics with my dying camera.

Starting 2014 and February Blues

Okay, I have to apologize, I haven't even thought about my blog since mid-January when I wrote half of this post... and I left the computer and got busy. I did discover that after I left the computer Charlie had posted this for me. So, you will probably read some stuff I've already written, but I promise I am writing new stuff in this post too.

I don't know how Brandy writes every week. I just plain don't have that much to say.

Life   

      Like I said. I don't have much to say. Life  has been busy, so there hash't been much time for living. Isn't it strange how that works?

     Jay and I have both been fairly happy. Jay has class four times a week, and that's been tough for both of us. He's really busy and when I get the chance to be home it almost feels like being a single mother. Now, I know that it's nowhere near that hard being lonely for 3 hours a night, but I do get lonely. Charlie can be a challenge when no one else is around. He seems to behave for everyone but me. :D

     Jay's been really good at getting his homework done this semester, so far. I am really proud of him. He's working hard, trying not to procrastinate. Yay Jay!

My parents just had their 25th year anniversary. Dad did something super sweet. He rented a limo! The best part? WE WERE INVITED! Yeah first limo ride ever! AND IT WAS STINKIN AWESOME. Then we went to a hibachi grill place in Ogden that I've always wanted to try. It's called Kobe grill. It was a beautiful place to eat. It had a little river, and fish and it was so much fun. Dad and Mom were so happy. I let my stomach get too full, and I didn't feel good after that, but it was fun.

We did run into a little bit of trouble. We discovered, after doing our taxes, that I have been paying practically no taxes all year long. I must have suddenly lost my brain while I was filling out my W-4, because even I am not stupid enough to claim 5 exemptions on my W-4. But, somehow that's what was put into the system. AND.... we're in trouble money-wise. Somehow Jay and I have to make up $2200. I cannot tell you how anxious this has made both of us. We now are in spending-freeze mode and we're trying not to buy anything unneeded. Also, we turned off the unlimited data on our phones. That actually hasn't been all that awful. But, I think I'm gunna want it back when all of this is over.

Well, Jay and I have had to pick up some extra shifts at work. I'm working like a crazy person at Hale, since my other job doesn't offer much in the way of overtime. Jay has picked up a couple days overtime at his job on Saturday mornings. It's been a strain, and we're both exhausted. And I miss my little Charlie boy.

To be perfectly honest, I've been pretty depressed since all of this tax and money stuff has started coming up. It just feels like no matter hard we try, something is trying to trip us up. And I know it's my fault, I should have been checking my paystubs, but I guess it's all a part of learning to be an adult. Speaking of checking my paystubs, I'm going to go do that right now.
And done. Looks good.
But yeah, I've been in a slump. It's been hard to pick myself up. As a result, there has been very little housework done, grades are falling behind, and I go to sleep incredibly early. I'll just hang on.

                                                                                               

Cooking

I've started making more home-made meals lately. Some of them have been awful, but a lot of them have been pretty awesome. I also discovered that I can of enjoy cooking. Well, I enjoy it unless I have a little voice saying, "Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma....." That gets pretty stressful.

But hey, if anyone wants a really good crockpot roast recipe.... yum... basaltic vinegar pot roast....YUM!

Since our tax problem, though. i've had to cut the more expensive meals and we've had a lot of hamburger helper and spaghetti... but those are pretty yummy. Also, since we've picked up extra work, we have done a lot of fast food because we don't have time to cook. Not so healthy.

Snowshoeing

Well, before our problem we were going snowshoeing every other weekend. AND IT WAS A BLAST! A plot of work, but a blast. Next year, I plan on doing this a lot. First, it's a lot of fun getting outside during the winter when I normally hiss at an open door letting in the freezing air. I hate being cold. But, I'm usually hot when I'm snowshoeing, so that's not a problem. Second, the dogs get out and they just love it. Third, it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Last, I got to spend some much-needed time with Jay.

Charlie

Charlie is learning so much lately. This morning I was listening to him and he was counting to ten. He won't do it if he thinks I'm listening. But I heard him, he was doing it! I think he kept missing 6 though.
He FINALLY has his colors. He was telling me all of the colors of his cars the other day. I think he just had to make sure he had it down perfectly in order to show me. I don't know why. I wouldn't be disappointed in him.
He talks in complete sentences now all of the time. He's really good at explaining what he wants. He's also really good at talking back to me too. Little butt-head. He's starting to get in trouble for it, though.
It's nice that we can actually reason with him now. I can tell him to eat 3 more bites and he'll understand that if he does that he can get down. It's really nice. And he's really nice. Seriously, I love the little guy.

I've had this awful feeling that I haven't been the best mom and definitely won't be a great mom as I pick up more shifts at Hale and work more. And I've been really upset about it. I feel like he sees more of my Grandma than he sees me and it just doesn't feel g
ood knowing that that's just going to be what life is as a working mom.
I know I'm being ridiculous. I know we need the money and I HAVE to work extra at Hale. I know that without my job we wouldn't be able to afford a house or really any of the things we need. I know that I would go absolutely cray being a stay-at-home Mom. I know I have the summers off to spend as much time with Charlie as I want. But, it just plain hurts to drop him off at 6 in the morning and then, if I am lucky and don't stay and help a student, go see him for 10 minutes and change for Hale. Then pick him up at 6:30 for the night. That's if I'm only working 1 shift at Hale. If I work 2 shows, and there's a LOT of that coming up soon as we do more matinees for Les Mis, it could nearly 11 before I get to pick him up. It just breaks me.
Now, so far, I've only worked a few extra shows at Hale, it hasn't been too often. But in about a week... oh my. If I were you, I would stay far away from me. I'm gunna be one explosive piece of dynamite.
Now, I know Charlie loves me. And, I've been told MANY times by many GREAT and supportive people that I'm a better mom for making sure that my child is taken care of financially. I know that all of this will be over soon. We can do it, and I will always love my little boy and will do my best to take care of him.

Charlie just had his 2 1/2 month check up. He's average as far as height and weight are concerned, maybe a little on the tall side. He's as healthy as a horse and his doctor is impressed with his speaking abilities. She told me she thought he was going to be a very bright young man. Now, she might be saying that make me happy, but it worked. Nothing could make me happier.
Charlie was really excited to stand on the big boy scale and he has been talking about how the doctor looked into his eyes and ears since we went. Cute little guy.

School

Schools been good. My students are great this year and I feel like I do a good job. 

There are a few things that have been a little more than a thorn in my side this month, though.

1st, dang end of year tests. I hate them. They hurt the education process so much. That is all.

2nd, since I am in my first 3 years I am a provisional teacher and I have to do a bunch of stuff to help me be a better teacher. But, I've heard all they have to say very recently, in college. I feel like most everything we do is a waste of my time. And I don't have a lot of time to waste. Also, all of these people that are mentoring us have their own little biases to certain people, certain practices, certain colleagues form certain schools they were hired together from, and all the political crap is driving me crazy.

3rd, I am worried about how AP Biology works next year. It just makes me anxious. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, but you know me.

Really, though. I love teaching biology. I can't think of anything much better. There may be one other job that might be better for me out there. But, it wouldn't work out with the other things in life that I want. So I am VERY happy with my career choice.

Some Awesome Pictures